Love isn't supposed to hurt, that is unless you're dating a vampire.

First, let me start by apologizing to my readers (all three of them) for not posting anything for a few months. I've been occupied with two important projects which I am happy to say are about finished, which should give me enough free time to again afflict the blogosphere with my rants and raves.

So what do you get when you mix 1 part Romeo and Juliet, 1 part Smallville, 2 parts clever Hollywood marketing, and a whole bucket full of estrogen? The answer of course is the movie adaption of Stephanie Meyer's hit vampire novel, Twilight. With all the buzz, hype, and millions of dollars generated by this movie (as with Phantom Menace I know these things aren't a guarantee of quality), I honestly expected something a little better. The premise is interesting enough - a forbidden human/vampire romance - but the movie never seems to rise above its basic plot line and achieve any kind of depth. Robert Pattinson does a quality job of playing the conflicted vegetarian vampire, Edward (I can just hear the collective female sigh), but Kristen Stewart doesn't quite find her footing as the uncomfortably co-dependant Isabella Swan. The appearance and mood of the film is effectively Gothic, but I was surprised by the cheap TV quality look of the special effects (what is up with that constant fast motion crap?). The bad vampire, James - played by Cam Gigandet from The O.C. - made a serviceable villain, and the end fight was exciting, but overall this movie just never seemed to draw me in. Fans of the book will no doubt love it, but any serious vampire enthusiast will probably find the film's departure from traditional lore conventions irritating. Two and half stars for this two dimensional 120 minute book promotion.

P.S. - To any teenage girls or twenty something housewives who might stumble across this review, please don't send me any threats or letter bombs - I really am a decent guy, I promise.