Eating metal can give you magical powers....

Being a fan of the Wheel of Time series, I wanted to make sure I sampled Brandon Sanderson’s writing before The Gathering Storm (part one of the Memory of Light trilogy-finale to the Wheel of Time) is released this November, to see if Sanderson really was a worthy choice to conclude the late Robert Jordan’s epic masterpiece. And so I decided to read Mistborn: The Final Empire. Mistborn is the story of Vin, an orphaned teenage girl who is trapped in the criminal underworld and seemingly consigned to a life of thievery and abuse. However, all that changes when Vin meets the infamous adventurer-thief, Kelsier “the survivor of Hathsin.” But Kelsier is no ordinary rogue. He is an Allomancer – a person who can burn certain ingested metals giving them supernatural powers. Kelsier recognizes that Vin has the same gift and recruits her to participate in a mad scheme to overthrow a virtually immortal tyrant, one who has ruled the world for a thousand years, oppressing Kelsier and Vin’s people, the Skaa. Thus begins a rich fantasy drama that introduces a freshly original system of magic and an intriguingly dismal post-apocalyptic world. Mistborn could be the perfect fantasy-fiction novel, complete with emotionally involving characters, an expertly mixed dose of humor, exciting action scenes, and an intelligently organic plot. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about this book and was thoroughly impressed with Sanderson’s writing ability. Thus I am pleased to report that the future of the Wheel of Time series is in good hands. On a scale of 1-10, Mistborn: The Final Empire gets a perfect 10!

Star Trek do-over

Ok, this will come out sooner or later so I might as well confess it here and now. I am a Trekkie. Surprise! Mom and dad are crying and blaming themselves, and the wife now knows where I’ve been secretly spending all my free time. It’s been a long time since we had new Trek, so I’ve been excitedly drooling over the trailers for the past six months. This can be dangerous as hype is a double edged sword, sometimes raising expectations to impossible levels. But in this case, Star Trek paid off the promotion, and for the most part I was pleased with J.J. Abram’s interpretation. First, let me say that Star Trek’s special effects are glorious! Gone are the days of stationary space battles where two ships have to be facing each other at point blank range in order to trade blows. All the ships, planets, phasers, and torpedoes look amazing. The score is emotionally charged with an epic flavor, and the new actors are all topnotch. The added dose of humor will help general audiences swallow the geekier elements of the movie, and the action and pacing are artfully executed. Yet as much as I enjoyed Star Trek, I did feel let down in a few areas. My biggest problem with the film is Abram’s deliberate abandonment of the hallmark Trek techno-babble and scientific approach to problem solving. I know, I know. That’s part of the barrier that kept Trek from previously being this widely accepted. However, that element of intelligent science fiction that is the very spirit of Star Trek was all but eliminated, leaving me feeling like the geeky friend who gets snubbed when his other friends want to impress the cool kids (yes, that analogy is autobiographical). Another thing that disappointed me was Leonard Nimoy’s surprisingly terrible performance. I realize that he’s never been an Oscar worthy actor, but he seemed to be at a personal worst, his lines sounding read from cue cards. And then there was the weak plot line (the recycled premise of the Star Trek Enterprise series), with its two dimensional villain, Nero, who seemed like a re-hash of old Trek bad guy Khan Singh. I do have to give Paramount and Abrams credit for their brilliant marketing strategy of using the alternate timeline template to clear the slate, making possible a total Star Trek re-invention. And although I am as attached to the old Trek history as I am to my wife and children, I am interested to see where Abrams will take the franchise. Three stars for the dumbed-down, yet thoroughly entertaining Star Trek!

Haunted by the ghost of unoriginality....

For some reason I have a morbid affinity for movies that freak me out. I'm not talking about slasher films - I've never really cared for or been scared by those - but movies that send me home with a creeped-out feeling that makes me want to hug a teddy bear and sleep with the lights on. Such was my experience watching the Haunting in Connecticut. When her son begins an experimental treatment for his cancer, Sara Campbell (Virginia Madsen) moves her family to an old house in upstate Connecticut so that they can be closer to the hospital where her son is receiving treatment. Unfortunately, the former funeral home has a dark history that includes corpse desecration, necromancy, and ectoplasmic séances (sounds like Never land Ranch). True to form, the family begins experiencing the classic symptoms of a haunted house (self breaking plates, disappearing figures, and homicidal shower curtains), all culminating in a fiery climax that reveals dozens of mummified corpses being used as wall insulation. Although loaded with several wet-your-pants level "boo" moments, Haunting is disappointingly mediocre and predictable and comes off more as a low budget Poltergeist meets the Messengers. Two stars for the creepy, but woefully unoriginal "The Haunting in Connecticut."

Fablehaven Grows Up

A shining star among the recent proliferation of Mormon fantasy novels has been Brandon Mull's Fablehaven series. And now with the release of the fourth installment, Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary, Mull raises the stakes of his story, as well as the quality of his writing. In Dragon Sanctuary, Kendra and Seth Sorensen spend most of their time away from their grandparent's preserve for the protection of magical creatures, as Kendra is kidnapped early on in the book and then ventures to the forbidden Dragon Sanctuary, Wyrmroost, to search for a key to finding one of the artifacts that can unlock the great demon prison. As with the previous Fablehaven novels, Dragon Sanctuary hooked me from the first chapter, but this time I was pleasantly surprised to find that Mull's writing had significantly improved. There was a noticeable decrease in the embarrassingly silly character banter that has afflicted the series, the narrative was smoother, and the overall feel of the book was more professional. Dragon Sanctuary is also more intense and exciting than its predecessors - Mull throws a dramatic curveball toward the end that I didn't see coming, but which I thought worked surprisingly well. It’s been a while since I enjoyed a book as much as I did Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary earning it a 9 on a scale of 1-10.

Love isn't supposed to hurt, that is unless you're dating a vampire.

First, let me start by apologizing to my readers (all three of them) for not posting anything for a few months. I've been occupied with two important projects which I am happy to say are about finished, which should give me enough free time to again afflict the blogosphere with my rants and raves.

So what do you get when you mix 1 part Romeo and Juliet, 1 part Smallville, 2 parts clever Hollywood marketing, and a whole bucket full of estrogen? The answer of course is the movie adaption of Stephanie Meyer's hit vampire novel, Twilight. With all the buzz, hype, and millions of dollars generated by this movie (as with Phantom Menace I know these things aren't a guarantee of quality), I honestly expected something a little better. The premise is interesting enough - a forbidden human/vampire romance - but the movie never seems to rise above its basic plot line and achieve any kind of depth. Robert Pattinson does a quality job of playing the conflicted vegetarian vampire, Edward (I can just hear the collective female sigh), but Kristen Stewart doesn't quite find her footing as the uncomfortably co-dependant Isabella Swan. The appearance and mood of the film is effectively Gothic, but I was surprised by the cheap TV quality look of the special effects (what is up with that constant fast motion crap?). The bad vampire, James - played by Cam Gigandet from The O.C. - made a serviceable villain, and the end fight was exciting, but overall this movie just never seemed to draw me in. Fans of the book will no doubt love it, but any serious vampire enthusiast will probably find the film's departure from traditional lore conventions irritating. Two and half stars for this two dimensional 120 minute book promotion.

P.S. - To any teenage girls or twenty something housewives who might stumble across this review, please don't send me any threats or letter bombs - I really am a decent guy, I promise.

Indiana Jones and the Retirement Center of Doom

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was the first movie I ever saw on opening night. I was ten then, now I'm twenty nine, and Indiana Jones is old. Too old perhaps to be cracking his whip and escaping from Nazi's, or was it Russians, or does it matter? George Lucas is credited as being the driving force behind this story, and once again we see that this man is a menace and needs to be stopped. However, his multimillion dollar creative rant is a bit tempered for this film, no doubt by Spielberg who is actually a good film maker (does anyone else get the feeling that Spielberg only hangs around Lucas out of a sense of buddy pity?) Crystal Skull starts out strong, but seems to get lost along the way in its own nostalgic vanity. Unlike some critics I didn't mind the alien theme, but the whole plot just falls apart in the third act. And what is Cate Blanchett doing in this movie with her ridiculously cliche Russian accent. This movie was entertaining, but not a worthy conclusion to one of film's iconic series. Two and half stars for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. By the way, whatever happened to that short Chinese kid that used to hang around with Indy?

Brisingr means fire...

Brisingr is the sequel to Eldest and the third installment in Christopher Paolini's Inheritance trilogy, oops I mean Inheritance cycle...(I wonder how many early editions of Eragon were published with that subtext). Despite Paolini's amateur predictability, lack of originality, and the transposing of his weird quirks onto his fictional characters, Brisingr was compelling and very enjoyable. Mind you, it's nothing special, but as I've said before, I'm a sucker for swords and sorcery and dragon action (that sounds a bit sordid). And there's plenty of that in this novel, climaxing with an exciting battle between the ancient rider Oromis and his gold dragon Glaedr against the traitor Murtagh and his red dragon Thorn. And for the first time we get to encounter the infamous dark king, Galbatorix - albeit through his possession of another character viewed at a distance by means of a psychic link. Hmm that seems unnecessarily complicated. Anyway, the book is better paced than its predecessor Eldest, but still falls into stretches of irritatingly boring chapters this time concentrating on Varden and Dwarf politics. The scenes with Roran's rise to prominence among the Varden are compelling and well done, but all of the focus on the Varden leader Nasuada is little short of worthless (she is really one of the most uninteresting characters that I've ever read in fantasy fiction). The battles and scenes of magic are sufficiently exciting, and the plot feels well planned. But what is up with Eragon's wussy, momma's boy relationship with Saphira? Makes me wonder if Paolini feels his mother didn't give him enough attention when he was little. And you gotta love the awkward attempts at humor personified in the character of Angela the fortune teller, all of which reinforce my conclusion that home schooling your children socially retards them. In spite of its weaknesses (probably more apparent to me because I am insanely jealous of the author's quick success at such a young age) Brisingr is an enthralling story which I very much enjoyed. On a scale of 1-10, Brisingr scores an 8.